First Post

I've had an epiphany.

I've decided, (or pretty much have always known) that I'm one of those people who are much more interesting on paper rather than in person. And writing words out seemingly gives me the time for my brain to process. (I'm pretty slow like that actually.)

Mostly, in the last month I've been thumbing through old journals of mine and thinking how insightful some of the things I've written down are. Which, trust me, that is NOT me bragging. Unless, of course, you're referring to the fact that i've discovered I am capable of meaningful thoughts. Then yes, I'M TOTALLY BRAGGING.

It also doesn't help that i watched the social network today, (really good movie, btw) and he was blogging. And I thought if Mark Zuckerberg can do it, why not me. Plus, Oprah has a friggin' blog. That's right. Oprah.

The point is, I seemed to always have more clarity when I was writing and I think I'm gonna try it out again. Online. And yes, I do feel like a total nerd.

When I was setting this whole little page up, I thought to myself, "I want some kind of cool writing" and then slowly realized that nobody takes anybody seriously with that curly crap and i thought the TNR was way to rigid. So this is what i've settled on. If you can't read it......well. I may change it again. Who knows.

This post I guess I'll dedicate to a thought process that came from this book I'm reading right now called "for women only". Which basically is supposed to be teaching me about men. And it amused me tonight watching some of what the author says play out in my life.

Poor guys. You really don't stand a chance with understanding us women. And why? Because we don't even get ourselves. Honestly, women don't even get women.

I have a relationship in particular where I thought a girl was being nice to me, but was really only trying to because she saw me as a threat. Until I actually took the time to befriend her and smile, she simply saw me as another girl who was her competition. And for the record, I know I am way less friendly than I should be on a first impression. I really am honestly trying to work on that. Apparently, I'm a bit abrasive. (Imagine that). Maybe I don't smile enough.

And why do we (women) do that. Why is it girls so naturally compete? It doesn't matter if its actually warranted or not, our guard is always up and we are almost always ready for a fight with any stranger. At least, I catch myself always being overly critical of people around me. And maybe that's also insecurity, which is way more than just a daily struggle for most women. (Reading a book for that too right now, by Beth Moore. BRILLIANT woman).

The point is, hats off to you, guys. Girls, I get that men are not perfect. In fact, more often than not, they are totally wrong in their interpretation of our feelings/intentions/etc. But how can they when half the time we don't understand why we even say what we do. I'm finding more often than not just how judgmental I am, how imperfect I am, and how quite often, my standards are too high to be even achievable for people in general. Except maybe the whole smiling thing..... I'm pretty sure I can do that.

I hold people at the same standards I hold myself and even those standards are pretty out of reach. Perfectionist at its finest, ya'll.

Thank God, I have a Savior that finds me adequate in the midst of all that.

Just a thought for the day. Men misinterpret. Women are defensive.

......No wonder we have communication problems. ha.

Happy Memorial Day, ya'll. Be safe. And happy. And for heaven's sake laugh a little.